Every time my mobile rings or it beeps of sms, It just leaves me irritated, most of time its people offering me loans when I don’t need one. God knows where they disappeared when I actually needed a loan or their credit cards. Now the messages have changed to “offers” from Globus Apparel Store, Spinach Groceries, reliance fresh…the list is almost never ending.

I am often courteous enough to tell them that I am registered on the “Do Not Disturb” list, please don’t bother. I am sure most of them hardly care to check it. Or simply I have to say that I am not interested.

Since morning nothing seemed to work in office, no internet connection, the LAN is down and a virus attack to make things worse. I often lose my temper on such occasions but then it doesn’t help. I recollected Murphy’s Law “If anything can go wrong, it will”, so I thought to take things easy.

In midst of all this my phone rang, seeing the unknown number I was so sure, wow!! Another loan for me! I was on a lookout of some entertainment, so I thought to try my skills. Below is the conversation which I had, I tried my level best to speak in UP Hindi style and I think I did a decent job too:

Good morning madam, this is Suvesh from “XYZ Bank”; our bank is offering you a lifetime free credit card.

Me: Sacchi? kya free mil raha hain humko? (is it? am I getting it free?)

Suvesh saw a serious customer; with all enthusiasm and his hinglish style to cope up with me he said haan madam; jyada kuch nahi karma hain aapko;  hum log yeh form online bhar denge, aap bas apna detail de do.

 (Yes madam, you don’t have to do much; just give me the details and I can fill the form online)

Me: Bhaiya jab gaon mein thee tab neta log ne wada kiya tha beejli or paani ki line denge, aaj tak nahi diya, abhi tum kaun si line dene ko keh rahe ho

(When I was in our village all these leaders promised us of electricity and water line, nothing has been done yet, now which line are you offering?)

Suvesh would have realized it’s difficult to explain technology so he suggested, madam main apna aadmi bhej doonga bas aap sign kar de dena form par

(I will send my man across you just sign on the form)

Before he could complete; I interrupted; bhaiya kya jamana aa gaya hain, tumko koi achi aurat nahi mili kya, jo aadmi ko rakh liya, tum bade bhale lagte ho tum ek kaam karo apne aadmi ki jagah khud aa jao hamare mohalle mein kafi achi ladkiyan hain, koi achi lage to bas chat magni pat byah.

(What’s wrong with today’s generation, didn’t you get a nice lady, that you had go for a man? You personally come here, in my locality there are quite a few good girls; will get you married in a jiffy!)

Suvesh was literally stammering; madam mera matlab tha, main naukar; company ke naukar ko bhej deta hoon.

Me: arey main samjhi hi nahi.

Suvesh: aap ka pata

(Give me your address)

 Me:  Haan likho, kholi no:3, Reay Road station rd.

Suvesh was bewildered and shocked: ji, aap wahan rehti hain?

Me: haan, kab aayega aap ka aadmi?

Suvesh tried his best to excuse and mentioned I am so sorry madam, I can’t help you.

I went on blabbering almost for 5 minutes, he had to ultimately disconnect, I am sure now I am not going to get any further calls, but in all I enjoyed it. I was in splits after disconnecting the phone.

Thanks suvesh for making my day!!

This will tell you how difficult it is to kill time at times J